An Interview with Stuart Ralph

I’m currently training as a therapist. My weekend or evening warrior job is my podcast and website called The OCD Stories – which is telling other people’s stories and getting adequate advice on to help those suffering from OCD.

I am reading The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It’s phenomenal, perhaps one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s actually the second, or third time I’m reading it. It’s one of those books that when you pick up, after the first page your mind is blown. I’d highly recommend it, it’s a top 3 book for me.

I remember my Mum or Dad used to read me Peter Rabbit books as I was going to sleep. But I wasn’t a big reader as a child; I think the first book I ever properly read myself was Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J.K. Rowling when I was around 13 years old. Before that, I would never have thought to pick up a book.

I wanted to be a fighter pilot. As a kid, I was quite into the idea of being in the wilderness and having to use your initiative. I guess I just thought flying really fast would be cool.

I don’t know, probably shocked. I think he would be happy, impressed maybe. But definitely not expecting the outcome. At that point I wanted to be a professional skateboarder, so maybe disappointed.

It would be Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It gets you to look at suffering as a part of life, and when you can accept that you can actually learn to live a meaningful life. It shouldn’t be a happy life we want, but a meaningful one.

I was reading on the tube a lot, because I’d be on it for 45 minutes each way. This was allowing me to plough through books for the last couple of years. But my commute has changed now, so I don’t get to read as much. I’m not making the time in the evenings, so it takes me a lot longer to read a book. I’m consistent with it, but it’s in small doses. I need to make more time for it.

In regards of what I’m doing with my podcast, I was reading a lot of books around OCD recovery and understanding the illness, but I don’t think it was particularly one book. There are many to choose from.

I would say probably The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, just because I’ve had so many conversations with people about it, and they all come to mind when I think about that book.

Unfortunately, it’s Be Your Own Life Coach by Fiona Harrold. I say it’s unfortunate because I recommended it to so many people, and everyone told me they though it was rubbish. In hindsight, the people I gave it to were probably ‘past it’, having being very well read in the personal development field. The book I gift the most now is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho or Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

Non-fiction, hands down. I’m still that kid that doesn’t like reading. I love what reading does for me, but I don’t like the act of reading. I have read fiction, but most of the fiction books I’ve picked up – I just get bored within 20 pages. If I want to escape, I’ll put on a film.

I think reading fiction can be important from an escapism point of view; sometimes it’s nice to take yourself into a different world. But from a non-fiction point of view, I think of Jeff Thompson, who is a BAFTA award-winning screenwriter, and he talks about this idea of the ‘conscious net’. The conscious net is your world and reality, built from your beliefs, values, and experiences. If you only watch the news you’re going to have a very restricted conscious net, but if you, for example, are reading books on Zen Buddhism or Christianity, or general philosophy, or comedy – your conscious net is expanding. As my conscious net grows, I believe I have more to offer myself, and the world.

That would be a book called The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts. He just blows your mind. The book was released in 1951, so it’s one of his first books and in my opinion – one of his best. Each page blows your mind. It really made me think and question my view of the world.

It would be Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl; I think everyone should read it to learn more about how awful humans can be, and how dangerous a particular ideology can be. I feel suffering is such a part of life, even on a small scale if your girlfriend does something you don’t like – you suffer. You can either live in that suffering, or you can learn to deal with it and live a meaningful life.

In terms of impact, it would have to be Be Your Own Life Coach by Fiona Harrold, purely because it set me on my path.

I’d throw in The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma. The simple lessons in that book started to shape me from reading less of the traditional personal development books about making money, to instead reading books that help me just be a better human being.

Another book would be A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, which I read while I was in a bad place. I wasn’t particularly happy with life, and the book was about turning your face away from fear and pointing it towards love. She said that a miracle is just a change in perception from fear to love. She changed how I look at the world.

Another one would be Life Without Limits by Nick Vujicic, an inspirational man who has no limbs. He tells his personal story and it puts any suffering you’ve had in perspective. It was a page-turner for me, just because he was so real, and he allows himself to be vulnerable.

It’d be something very cliché, perhaps something along the lines of ‘Live on Purpose’.